There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
