as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
my shit smells like andre
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
