Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
