I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
