I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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