Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
