***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
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