Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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