We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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