He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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