This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
