Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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