I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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