Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
