South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
