Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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