dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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