Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
