I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I am spending my child support on dildos
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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