Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
