I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
