pedialite and red bull = repair kit
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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