Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
