I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
this boner is exhausting
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
