I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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