Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
