So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
