I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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