ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Soap is not a condiment
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
