Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Buhtt sex?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Randomize
