if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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