my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
This is the high leading the old right now
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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