Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
