His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Randomize
