Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
