she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I FOUND THE LEGS
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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