god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
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