I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
