Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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