He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
