He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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