guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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