Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Do you have feelings for this penis?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
