We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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