I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
50% drunk capacity currently
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
