I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
