If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
