3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
