Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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