My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
