sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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