"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Randomize
