If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
