She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
My dick has a subreddit
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
